I'm Back!

Yes, I do realize I have been away from blogs for almost 3 months. Give me a minute and I'll fill you in on why.

Back in July, I had started my job at the Hilton (which I was extremely grateful to get and love), but that was also the month I became homeless again. I spent another 2 months on the street before I got the apartment I'm in now.

I also started classes again in August, so school and work are keeping me pretty busy.

Just when I thought I had everything under control, I came down with pneumonia. Grrr!

As if all that weren't enough, I get a phone call. I missed the court date for my traffic tickets and now there's a warrant out for my arrest! My ex had received the court papers at the old house we'd shared, opened them (a federal offense), then refused to tell me about it. He even made his gf swear not to tell me.

So this past Wednesday I went to the court to try to sort it all out. Ended up spending the whole damn day in jail (in a cell with a woman who killed her 14 year old son) and having to call my parents to bail me out. It was not an experience I ever want to repeat.

I'm just hoping that one day soon the soap opera-ishness of my life will end and I can just relax.

Silver Linings

So a friend and I were talking the other day about why unfair and cruel things tend to happen most often to those who don't deserve it. Granted, those that do deserve them tend to suffer too, but it really seems that the good people suffer most.

The conclusion we came up with? Those that deserve to suffer and have the most to learn won't learn squat from their suffering. They'll just gripe and moan about how cruel fate is and never learn a thing. Just use it as an excuse to get more mired in their wrong ways.

The good people on the other hand (and by good, I don't mean people who never do wrong; just those with good hearts who try), they want to learn and will through their suffering.

As I look back over the past year of my own life, I realize that Yay! I must be one of the good guys. (And trust me when I say I've had my doubts on that issue in the past.) Because I've learned from all the crap I've gone through.

Now I know some people who know me well are reading this saying, "Yeah. Right."

Hey, I never said I was a quick learner. Just that I have learned. I'm stubborn and I know it, so life kinda had to hit me upside the head with a sledgehammer. But I did eventually get the message.

In the past year I have gotten divorced, lost primary custody of my kids, been homeless, and jobless. In general, flat out lost in life.

Things are slowly getting back on track. I have a home and my kids with me every weekend and I have a job that I love. Granted I have to find a new place before the middle of the month, but I can deal with that. I think.

But that's the big thing I learned this past year - I can deal with anything that comes my way. The other two big things I learned went against everything I was raised to believe - showing emotion does not mean you're weak, and asking for help does not rob you of your independence.

I still struggle with those last two. It's difficult to erase 36 years of belief in just one year, but when you have no choice, you do what you must. So even though I still don't like it, I will ask for help when I need it. I've even shed a few tears in public.

Still hate crying in general though because it always leaves me with a tension headache. Another friend of mine has a theory on that though. He thinks because of the way I was raised to view crying, I tense up so much that it's not the cathartic release that it should be.

I'm getting off topic though (Me, ramble? Never!).

My point is that the saying, "Every cloud has a silver lining," really is true.

So share with me some of the stormy clouds in your life and the silver linings you found.

Good News/Bad News

Isn't that always the way? As soon as something awesome happens in your life, a negative comes along to cancel it out.

Of course, sometimes the negative is really a positive in disguise. But that doesn't change the fact that it makes you feel like the crud people scrape off the bottom of their shoes.

So the good news part is I got a job!!! Finally, after months of being without employment, I found a job. And not just any job, but one where I get to do stuff I enjoy! So thank you very much to the people at Hilton who hired me.

The bad news part is that I (once again) must find somewhere else to live. Grrrrr!! I want to be settled. I want to stop feeling like at any moment I could be back living on the streets (since I no longer have my car to live in).

I could handle it. If there's one thing I've learned in the last couple of years, it's that I can truly handle anything that life throws at me. I don't have to like it though :) And I would really hate being homeless again because it would mean months without seeing my kids regularly again.

That, I don't know if I could handle, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed and saying my prayers. (If any of you would like to lob a prayer on my behalf as well, I wouldn't complain. In fact I would be much appreciative.)

But like a friend recently told me: I have a job which is the first step. A steady paycheck opens the doors to finding a place to live and maybe getting a new car again someday.